I've been thinking a lot lately about change. For a long time I viewed it as the dirtiest of dirty words, and avoided allowing it into my vocabulary at all costs. I was content with what I had; what I knew. I liked routine and predictability and any hitch in my precious plans could send me into worry-mode overdrive. But now, I find myself yearning for change every day. Don't get me wrong, I love my life. I love where I live, the people I've surrounded myself with and the career path I am doggedly pursuing. But at 24 (not exactly over the hill, I know), I'm not sure I am totally where I want to be. I don't feel particularly settled or accomplished, both feelings I was sure I would have at 24. I've been providing for myself for about a year and a half, which is both amazing and scary depending on which day you catch me, but I don't feel like I have taken many risks. I've stayed close to home, fearing what it would be like to live anywhere besides my beloved DC, and I've always taken the safe path in my career- the steady paycheck. Now, as I find myself applying to jobs in places like New Orleans and San Diego and Boston, I realize that I am ready; ready for the adventures I thought I'd have had by now, and ready to throw myself out of the nest and hope I can fly. I remember when the thought of studying in Paris was terrifying and how I almost didn't go. I was a few tears away from missing out on the best experience of my life, all because of fear of the unknown; fear of being with just myself. I made the right choice, the best choice, four years ago when I got on that plane (even if it was with tear-stained cheeks) and I want to make sure I make that choice again.
You are probably wondering what business this ramble has on a style blog, but the beauty of it being my style blog is I get to write whatever rambles I want to :) But in actuality, this concept of fearing/embracing change applies to my style, too. Lately I have felt very "unstylish" all because I've been drawn to simple style; outfits that are made up of only one or two pieces and can be thrown together with barely a thought. No layering, no crazy pattern mixing or unexpected pairings. Just a classic pencil skirt and blouse or flattering dress for work, and my go-to mint shorts with a tank for weekend wear. Whether that stems from wanting to be as cool as possible in this miserable heat, my inherent morning laziness or if that is just the direction my style has gone, I honestly can't tell you. But I am determined to embrace it, because I am realizing that personal style, by definition, can't be unstylish because it is my style; my preferences, my tastes and a reflection of my personality.
And to top this whole thing off, I had an interesting moment a few nights ago. I needed a stand-out outfit and I felt like I had tried on every "fashionable" combo in my closet and all fell short of my expectations. In the end, I wound up in an outfit that I was pleased with, and even got me a few compliments at the party I attended. And what outfit was it? One that was one of the first outfits I ever showcased on this blog, nearly two years ago.So maybe nothing has really changed all that much anyways.
|The outfit photo from two years ago. For some reason, this outfit has always made me feel a bit like this. Except less sexy.|
|Oh, I wore these shoes instead of the black ones last night.|